Posted 3 hours ago
Posted 3 hours ago
Posted 3 hours ago

reallyreallyreallytrying:

oh, i see what happened here. when you said help the beached whale you meant help it get back in the water, not further up on the beach

Posted 3 hours ago

tuc-ficprompts:

malicemidnight:

sapphirebones:

jaacknasty:

Probably the best 6 seconds ever. 

i fucking lost it

fUC K

OMG IM LAUGHING SO HARD RN HIS FACE WAS ONE OF PURE TERROR OHMYGOD

(Source: fartgallery)

Posted 3 hours ago

imsoshive:

me: what’s for dinner?

her: *spreads her legs*

me: 

image

so, did you not cook or ….. cause popeyes closes at 10 and i need to leave now if i’m gon make it. 

Posted 3 hours ago

notsira:

ariaste:

unamusedsloth:

Exercise caution, especially with things labeled “fresh” pizza

I dunno, I’m most worried about “stairs”

I used to go around at night and put random quotation marks on signs around my town

Walk-ins “welcome”

Buy one “get” one free

Watch the “game” here (quotations also good around watch and here)

Posted 3 hours ago
Posted 3 hours ago

BOYFRIEND / GIRLFRIEND/ DATEMATE APPLICATION

thisismydivision:

canwriteitbetterthanueverfeltit:

doncella-anemona:

Name: 
Gender:
Height:
Orientation:
Age:
Eye Color: 
Hair Color:
Smoking?: 
Drinking?:
Drugs?:
Job:
Favorite Color:
Favorite Band:
Siblings:
Tattoos?:
Favorite Book?:
Perfect Date:
Hobbies:
Why should I pick you?:
Why do you even want to date me?:

I swear to God I’m just going to keep reblogging until I finally get a response

^Same.

(Source: min-tto)

Posted 7 hours ago

teencry:

do you ever get so obsessed with a game that you start playing it in your head before you sleep

Posted 7 hours ago

rneerkat:

arteries will always hold a special place in my heart